Natalie Portman. Friend with benefits. Yes, please. Ashton Kutcher, same arrangement. I'll pass. The same goes for No Strings Attached, a harmless but utterly forgettable romantic comedy starring the Oscar winner and winning replacement for Charlie Sheen.

No Strings Attached is about Adam (Kutcher), a dashing young man who meets gorgeous doctor Emma (Portman), who is equally attracted to him but horribly afraid of any kind of commitment. The two enter into a friends-with-benefits arrangement, but as is always the case, those never last very long.

The movie is exactly what you'd expect, a shallow cash grab based on a rough outline probably based on a weekend experience by one or more of the filmmakers.  No Strings Attached is unremarkable in every way, a typical Hollywood romantic comedy devoid of emotion.

Both Kutcher and Portman do as well as they can, but are constrained by the story and characters. The movie is predictable from the first minute, but the real problem lies in the uninteresting duo that is supposed to win over the audience. Kutcher's character is harmless, but Portman's character is a horrible person. Why should I want, let alone care, if the two end up together?

The movie isn't very funny either, save for the few scenes shown in the previews.

No Strings Attached has a few worthwhile moments, and both Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher traipse around in very little clothing at times (don't get too excited by the R rating, however), but the movie offers no real argument as to why anyone should waste two hours on this film.

Review by Erik Samdahl unless otherwise indicated.